My Philosophy of Friends; what really happened.

((Friend)) was not a frequently used word in my dictionary.


Drama happened. Drama happens.

I tried so hard to avoid dramas by weeding out the persumed "bad" friends.
I did not bother to waste time on getting to know a "bad" person.
I learned to be very judgmental.
I learned to expect the worst out of people.

People. I love them. But, I was scared of them.

I have always been very sensitive.
I have always been attached.

I have always had issue!


Girls? I fear them. I avoid female friends.
Somehow, I think they are all the same...
They are political. They gossip. They are harmful.

Guys? I hang out with guys.
I would waste time on getting to know bad guys, but, not girls, never the good girls.

Cal housing put me in an all girl suite.
They made a wonderful mistake!

Living with seven of them,
I found out girls are actually fucking more fun to be around with!
Yeah, they gossip. So? I gossip too! I am political too!
Am I harmful to some? Yeah... So why placing this double standard?


During high school, I withdrew for the previously mentioned reasons; I learned jack.

My social life @ PCC taught me friends are not necessarily close.

Even tho they might hurt me, I will still gain ultimately.

There should not be a pressure on "weeding out" the bad apples...
People are dynamic with dimensions.

It is better to learn than to judge.
It is better to make it the most than to make it the least.

It is much easier when we do not care.

Why care?
Why fear?
I have survived the "worst."
What "worst" would come to me who was the loner, the bullyed, the betrayed, the outcasted?
Have I also forgotten I was also the star, the bully, the center of the universe???
Have I never betrayed?

I had my best times with those who hurt me the most.
I hate them. But Why?
They have taught me much.
Those who failed me do not fail me now.

People are dynamic with dimensions.


I snipped outta it already.

"This is not physical science, get over it!
- Professor Zedeck, his comment on the study of Psychology

Now, I long for the life I have missed.
And I am after what I have missed, what I miss.